Meghan Trainor Torture Fantasy Leads Police To Caution Man

To be posted on any Meghan Trainor video:

“I can’t believe my buddy Jeeter got ‘cautioned’ by Police just for something he wrote online about lovely Meghan. It was just a silly fantasy of his, no direct ‘threat’ was involved at all.

He just said that he’d love to drug her drink one night, then whisk her away in his van before security realised what was going on. He’d take her out to his bunker hide-out in the forest; after a few hours, she’d wake up in a dank, dirty basement lit by glaring strip-lights 24/7. He would carefully feed her 3 times a day with nutritious energy drinks laced with hallucinogens; these would keep her alive & awake in a kind of never-ending bad-trip nightmare. Her four limbs would be separately tied up and controlled, so over the coming days he would increasingly spread-eagle her arms & legs, leaving her in a position of constant, excruciating agony. After a couple of weeks he’d move on to the final, sacrificial stage. First, he’d simply burn her flesh with an iron. Then he’d insert spikes with serrated edges & spring-loaded retractor blades deep inside her lower orifices- performing this hourly until hideous internal injuries caused her to expire, whereupon her body would be cremated & her ashes scattered.

Whatever happened to free speech in this country?”

And just what’s wrong with a bit of fantasy, exactly?


Gary Barlow Becomes A Transsexual, Violating God’s Sacred Law

“I know Gary Barlow’s a real popular guy- but just imagine how people would feel about him if he became a transsexual, corrupting the very God-given seed of his soul in order merely to fulfil a nauseating, deluded self-image.

Think how YOU would feel if your own child was ‘inspired’ to do likewise with drugs & ‘therapy’, violating God’s Law and damning both themselves & all those who fail to condemn their choice to everlasting Hellfire. Would you still be clapping & cheering then?”

Always good to exercise creative imagination- no matter where it might lead!


Man Makes Girlfriend Wear Demi Lovato Rubber Mask During Sex

To be posted on any suitable video:

“I watched this video with my brother & his girlfriend- after a few seconds but she burst into tears & ran out, screaming “I CAN’T WATCH THAT BITCH ANY MORE!”

It turns out my bro is kinda obsessed, & makes her wear a Demi Lovato rubber mask for lovemaking. He actually got this vile thing out & made me wear it to show how ‘unreasonable’ she was being. It was disgusting, restricting my vision/breathing & with a vile stench that almost made me vomit. How can I get through to him how wrong this is?”

Obviously ‘Demi Lovato’ can be substituted by any female celebrity- as ever, flexibility is the name of the game!


One Direction Fans Burned To Death In Psychopath’s Secret Bunker

“Can anyone help/advise me? My buddy Jeeter is a lovely guy who’d make a great husband & Dad one day, but he’s being held back by his bizarre fantasies about One Direction.

The other week he told me about he’d like to capture ‘a large number’ of their female fans & take them to his hide-out bunker. Once there, they’d be clamped by their arms & legs into open-fronted iron ‘pods’ by the guards, then these would be fitted upright onto a moving ‘production line’. In turn, each pod would have a red-hot electric element ‘grill’ closed onto its front for 2mins, leaving only the girl’s head exposed at the top. Obviously this would cause excruciating pain, causing each victim to scream out their hideous dieing cries, before being dumped in a heap with all the rest of the horribly charred bodies- each choking & spluttering out their last pathetic whimpers of life, literally begging for it to end. Of course, everyone on the line would see the fate awaiting them for at least half an hour beforehand.

Can anything be done to help him?”

Poor old Jeeter! Still, everyone has fantasies, right? Just a pity about the ‘direction’ these are going in…


Picking Up Hot Girls In Club Leads To Weeks Of Hideous Torture & Death

To be posted on any video or male picture, anywhere!:

“WOW- this guy really reminds me of my late business colleague Kevin Manson, which makes me sad :(. We were ‘jailed’ together after being caught in a bizarre feminist honey-trap 8 years ago. This club we went to on a business trip to Mexico was full of gorgeous young women, some of whom would approach and apparently try to hook up with you. But it was a con- they drugged our drinks and took us away in a van while unconscious.

We woke up in an underground bunker with around 30 other men, obviously many miles from civilization. Each of us was chained to the floor of a tiny individual cell, with bars allowing a view only of a central area where brutal, shaven-headed guards worked in shifts. Food and water were disgusting, minimal and basic, served by these guards who would physically abuse us & shout about us being ‘filthy misogynists’ upholding the ‘patriarchy’. Abuse, anxiety, heat and boredom sent many poor men insane. But worse was what happened at night.

Just when we’d managed to get a couple of hours’ peace, the lights would snap on and this psychopath woman would walk around screaming about how one of us ‘feel the power of a woman tonight’. She then choose one of us at random, and ordered the guard to drag the victim out onto a chair in the central area, to which he would be strapped down tight. She would then ‘play’ with him for up to an hour, using her gun as a kind of surrogate penis, ordering him to fellate the barrel and moaning in sexual pleasure as he did so. Eventually the ‘climax’ would occur- she would scream “YES, SUCK ME SO I COME!”, shove the barrel hard down his throat & ‘ejaculate’ by pulling the trigger. We had to watch this night after night, knowing that it would be our turn soon enough. They didn’t even bother to wipe the blood, bone & brain matter off the wall.

Sadly, I had to watch Kevin die like this- but fortunately the Police came and freed us before my turn came. I was one of only four survivors.”


Christian Wants God’s Approval For Affair With Hot Daughter-In-Law

“PLEASE can anyone help or advise me? Jesus Christ and His church are at the very core of my life; believe me when I say I’ve been down & in some tough spots in the past, and He has NEVER once failed me. But now I feel conflicted beyond hope.

Thing is, I’ve been having an affair for several months with my 24YO daughter-in-law. I know this seems ‘wrong’ in the eyes of the church and the Bible, but I just can’t believe God would really disapprove. If you could only see for yourself her perfect, soft, pert young breasts and juddering smooth buttocks, and feel for yourself the hot liquid silk of her tight vagina massaging and gushing orgasm over your ramrod penis, there’s NO WAY you could condemn. Is there any way out this mess, particularly considering she’s now pregnant and the child might be mine?”

Well, it was God who gave the gift of sexual pleasure to Man. Why should he or any of his followers condemn this guy’s actions?


High School Teacher Unashamed By Sex With Several Girl Students

“My buddy Jonno works as a High School teacher out in Iowa, and last month the Principal asked him point blank: “Jonathan, I have to ask you man-to-man: you ever had sexual intercourse with a student?” Of course Jonno immediately answered ‘NO!”, and the principal just said “OK, sorry I had to ask- I’ve asked all members of staff”. Some kind of stupid new anti-pedophile drive.

Of course Jonno HAS had sex with one or two girl students over the years (most male teachers have)- BUT they were always over 16 & 100% willing, so nothing illegal occurred and it’s not his employer’s business. People need to calm the fuck down about the whole thing IMO.”

Good old Jonno- yet another wayward friend of mine! Student-teacher relationships are a VERY sensitive subject area, so why not play on peoples’ sensitivities for all their worth?


Sexy Jennifer Lawrence’s Hot Pic & Will Smith Torture Fantasy

Sexy Jennifer Lawrence (pictured) got ‘cautioned’ by Police last week just for something she wrote online about Will Smith. It was just a silly fantasy of hers, no direct ‘threat’ was involved at all.

She just said that she’d love to drug his drink one night, then whisk him away in her van before security realised what was going on. She’d take him out to her bunker hide-out in the forest; after a few hours, he’d wake up in a dank, dirty basement lit by glaring strip-lights. He would then be made to strip naked by guards, covered in olive oil & pushed down a slide onto a 10sqm ‘hot plate’ @ 200 degrees (with Perspex sides for easy viewing & to prevent escape) where he would squirm, slide & ‘dance’ in excruciating pain for as long as possible as his flesh is seared like a char-grilled steak. Jennifer would simply sit & watch- and ‘probably masturbate’, depending on how she was feeling.

Whatever happened to free speech in this country?


Christian News – Former Child Preacher Cured Of Homosexuality By Church ‘Equipment’

“Those criticising child preachers can SHUT UP! I preached from 7-13YO, & while I didn’t understand everything I was saying, it helped me to socialise within a loving community of Christ!

This helped me when I succumbed to homosexual urges at college. My Pastor was able to destroy this dire enemy in my mind using both prayer & physiological equipment. I’m now married with 2 wonderful kids- living proof that Homosexuality can be permanently cured! There is hope in God’s hands!”

Whose cold heart could not be warmed by this tale of love and healing?


Legal News – Pedophile Not Allowed To Watch ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’

“My cousin Joe served 7yrs in jail for molesting 3 young girls. What he did was wrong, but TIME SERVED = DEBT PAID. He has a right to move on in life.

However, since release Joe has suffered constant hassle from parole officers, who now say he’s not even allowed to watch ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ on TV or the internet! All of this IN ADDITION to appalling abuse from both local residents & former ‘victims’ (now in their 20s) who stalk & terrorise him. His property is regularly damaged & defaced.”

Once again, society struggles to cope with ex-cons. What is the point of ruining their lives forever?